Shoplifting was a major problem at the store and after a shoplifter was caught I had complete discretion in what to do with that person. I found out the first day on the job that if a shoplifter told you they were on probation or parole they would do just about anything not to be arrested again. What happened was that an attractive female who was caught stealing my first day was in this situation. She offered to have sex with me if I would not call the police and I took her up on it! After that I began to hint about this possibility with other female shoplifters that I was sexually attracted to if they were in this same situation. Every single one of them took me up on the offer!This one particular time happened when a woman was caught trying to steal a 2 liter bottle of Vodka. When I walked into the office I was surprised to find one of the women who had agreed to one of my trades about 4 to 5 years earlier. With her was a young girl that I assumed was her daughter. . You will regret it.This one is compliments of JohnAll in all it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, and malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage.But more importantly for the story, it had been over 48 hours since I last took a dump. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I.
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